We live in the information age. Many things that several decades have been available only offline, now can be quickly done on the Internet using your smartphone or laptop. The development of technology has greatly simplified our lives and opened up new opportunities. But there are two sides to that coin, and under cover of total progress, something terrible has come – dependence on the fictional world.
Computer games began to actively develop in the 1980s when personal computers and game consoles became widespread among society and occupied an integral place in pop culture. Since then, the game industry has developed considerably. Now the games are built on powerful engines, and their graphics are a little different from real life. Besides, games can be played online with players from around the world.
Video game addiction affecting family life
The games are designed to entertain us. There is nothing wrong with spending a little time on your favorite game and relaxing. The problem arises when a person spends almost all his time playing games. Onlinedivorce.com in California conducted research and found that 7% of divorces happen because husbands live in the computer world. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. There are a lot of families who suffer from the game addiction of the spouse. Not every woman decides to divorce for various reasons, and the main one is common children. And this problem has no age. Men suffer from gaming addiction when they are 28 and at the age of 55.
When the husband is a gamer, he spends all his time at the computer. Many women complained that their spouses did not help with the children or around the house. A woman has to take on double responsibilities: independently raising a child, keeping the house and earning, while their men drink beer and fight with fictional characters. Some women also admitted that they had to look for an extra job because their husbands forgot about making money and completely plunged into the game world.
However, many gamers sincerely do not understand the dissatisfaction of their wives. They explain that “I do not cheat, do not hang out in the bar with friends and do not beat you, what is wrong?” But in such a relationship, a woman feels lonely. She does not receive warmth and support from her husband. He ceases to be interested in his family, children, home, in principle, everything around and immersed in a fictional world. In many of these couples, sex disappears, which makes the wife feel ugly and unattractive. And it beats very strongly on a woman’s self-esteem and her moral state.
Why do men live in the computer world?
It is believed that gaming addiction occurs when a person tries to escape from reality. He has problems at work; the boss is always yelling, the relationship with his wife does not go well, and so on. Computer games are a means to escape from problems. Here you can be a general of a great army or a hero on whom the fate of humanity depends. Also, the game is an easy way to achieve a position in society. In real life, you need to study, work hard, and develop your thinking. In video games, a similar principle. Here you also need to improve your character and collect the appropriate items. But after all, to pump your profile in the game is much easier and faster than doing self-development in real life.
Many scientists associate gaming with drug addiction. UnityPoint Health Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery conducted research and concluded that gambling addiction could be described as a disorder of impulse control. People who are addicted to computer games are trying to find a substitute for real life and communication in the virtual world. In other words, the behavior of a gamer is precisely the same as that of a person suffering from drug addiction. And accordingly, gaming addiction also needs to be treated.
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Is there a way out?
Some women prefer to divorce instead of trying to solve the problem. You can not blame them for the desire to live a normal life. And they have that right. However, there are also women who want to save their marriage and help their husband get out of the darkness. The following tips may be useful for such wives.
First of all, you need to understand that it is impossible to help a person if he does not want this. If the husband does not recognize his problem and the fact that it breaks the marriage, it is unlikely that anybody will be able to help him. However, there is always hope.
Despite the problem of the husband, the main thing that women should do is to take care of herself. It makes no sense to spend all the time and effort to remake another person; it is useless. You need to think about yourself and your development. A woman must protect her borders. If she thinks she is tired and needs rest, she should take a rest, and not dredging up all the family problems. The more relaxed you are, the less your husband will irritate you. Besides, a happy woman attracts the attention of men. If you are happy and can enjoy yourself, there is a high probability that your husband will pay more attention to you.
Another important thing is that you should not criticize your husband. For any negative from your side, he will respond with aggression, which will aggravate the situation. If you see that the husband is doing something wrong, talk to him heart-to-heart, tell about your fears and feelings, and explain that you are worried about the marriage. A calm conversation will bring more results than a scandal.
Set the rules in the house. For example, it is allowed to eat only in the kitchen and in no case at the computer. You must have at least one meal per day, where the whole family must be gathered at the table. It is essential for strengthening family ties. Make a schedule according to which the husband can play certain hours a week and no more.
And of course, contact a psychologist. Game addiction is a disease, and a specialist should treat it. Without the help of psychologists, there is little chance of recovery. Yes, the husband may stop playing, but he will have another addiction, more dangerous, which may be harmful to his health. And it’s because the reason why this addiction has appeared was not resolved.
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